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Tag: blog

Reconnecting: why blogging is still relevant for me

For as long as this site has existed, I’ve always wanted honesty to be one of its key core values.

If you are a regular reader, you´re probably aware of that already since I created an entire category dedicated to being bold about blogging and then called it The Honest Fashionista Diaries. So, case in point, I am going to be open with you about my late absence, today.

The last few months have been a strange period, to say the least. This year started a bit too quickly, almost on a hectic way for me—a new job, a new city, new opportunities… new everything—which made me feel rather overwhelmed at times. As a consequence, and as much as I hated it, the blog took a back seat. This decision was not easy, and I felt sorry about every missing opportunity to post a fresh article. However, I do believe you must give your 100% when you love something—and this website, guys, is one of my biggest loves.

While life itself was not contributing to the mind-set I need to write in here, I was also struggling in terms of mental health. Most days I felt exhausted and under the weather, which is an awful place to be as a creator. But I am not speaking about creating content only, though. I am talking about the perception I had on my self-worth and even my self-image.

All of a sudden, I began feeling not only my contribution to the blogosphere was insignificant but also resenting my appearance when taking pictures or simply by looking in the mirror. Age was certainly taking its toll on me: I felt old, wasted, and ugly. Even worst, every time we went out for shooting, I felt ridiculous. Don’t get me wrong, I am a very realistic person and always knew I was no model at all—and that’s OK too. For me, blogging is not about that one perfect look but about writing and creating a nice picture to inspire others—but at some point, I got completely lost in the middle of the fog.

There was a moment in which I plainly refused to get my photo taken. Then, this whole crazy lockdown situation arrived at our lives and we ceased going outside.

Working remotely and from the comfort of my apartment, there was a period when things got even worse for me. I would feel utterly depressed by simply looking at the news and everything else seemed pointless. Hence, I stopped logging into social media and reduced my presence online to almost zero.

Back then, I began spending more time taking care of myself: I started reading every day, watching nice films, having lengthy baths, and taking good care of my skin. I started having long walks in the park (always keeping the safety distance for obvious reasons), reconnecting with nature, and detoxing from anything negative in my life.

After one month, I finally discovered the value of resilience. I began enjoying the quiet, the long conversations with Sebastian, and a good long morning meditation session. I began liking myself again—both inside and outside.

As time goes by, I keep healing every day. I came to realize it was all a matter of time: I needed to stop and smell the flowers, feeling grateful for every small blessing in my life. Because most frequently than not, we don’t pay attention to those little things, taking them for granted. It is still a work in progress but the whole point of this post is, as a thirty-something woman, life is difficult sometimes.

The raw truth is, the expectations list seems endless: Have children, keep yourself young forever, have a brilliant career, keep your home spotless, organize family days out, take care of your family/spouse. And it goes on and on.

With such a burden, when do you get the chance to stop and listen to yourself? When are you supposed to become the priority? When was the last time you said “enough of this”? For me, it had to be in the middle of an extreme sanitary emergency lockdown. It took that much of a change to give it a thought. As I did begin thinking more and more about it, another question came to my mind: How many women on their thirties, forties or older feel exactly like this? How many of us are struggling to cope?

And this is where I was going with all the rambling.

Whoever you are, whatever your situation is, you are not alone.

From now on, my blog will be a place where you can come and say: I am NOT ok with this. I will do my best to write for you, to post as frequently as I can about how to be your own best friend. How to stop feeling worthless, wasted, ugly. I will post on how to dress for yourself, take care of your mind, and soul, and feel better in your skin.

Welcome to the place where you can be you.

Nothing else matters.

September 16, 2020September 15, 2020

Allegra Caro27 Comments

What I’ve learned after one year of blogging: the good, the bad, and everything in between

They say time flies when you are having fun but the last twelve months slipped away so fast, I wonder if they even existed.

Fortunately though, I published my first blog post ever last November and since then, I have updated this site regularly, which means I enjoy the rare privilege of a detailed year record. Isn’t that something? I mean, I am the girl who doesn’t even manage to catch up with her Bloglovin’ reading list!—just imagine updating a website rigorously. But twelve months, fifty-five posts and an unutterable number of chocolate cookies later, I am still here (and so is this blog).

This year, I feel like I’ve written about every topic on Earth: from social prejudice to style advice, and from travel adventures to my experience visiting Vogue House. Surely, there will be many other topics to catch my attention but nevertheless, the most interesting part of this whole blogging trip is the lessons you learn on the way.

So let me keep this short and sweet, and introduce you to those modest pieces of wisdom I have treasured during my experience as a blogger.

lessons i learned after one year blogging

01.

Willpower Obstinacy is everything

Blogging, you see, can be quite a commitment: for many people, it might be only a hobby, but it does require discipline and a shocking amount of time from you. To be completely honest, I don’t even look at it as a hobby anymore but as my creative outlet, side hustle, and ultimately, as something that sparks joy in my life. Most of us would possibly agree that, if anything makes you feel that way, you’ll probably want to stick to it. No matter how challenging it is.

As reluctant as I am to admit this publicly, I’ve never considered myself a person with huge willpower. However, I am stubborn to an extent most people would find embarrassing. Let me give you a very concrete example.

When I was about ten years old, a classmate told me that girls couldn’t wear trousers. At that age, the mere mention of the words “you can’t” acted as a trigger for me. So, I did the only sensible thing: for the next three months, I refused to wear nothing but pants to the school. THREE MONTHS. I wish I was joking: my family still refers to this anecdote as The 1993 Trousers Debacle.

The point is, obstinacy is my blogging fuel—it keeps me going when I am too tired to plan the editorial calendar when I think it’s not worthy, when I feel I am not good enough. If like me, you haven’t the biggest willpower, obstinacy will be equally effective.

what-i-learned-blogging

02.

And so is honesty

People who are still active blogging readers are interested in inspirational content—that’s right—but not as much as they are interested in relatable content. In my first year of blogging, my stats show a prevailing success of those posts providing an honest angle, both in terms of page views and likes. Two of my most celebrated articles featured my sincere approach to an average blogger routine as well as my thoughts on the future of blogging. In both cases, the reactions were strikingly positive.

The conclusion is definite: we might enjoy a bit of healthy guilty-pleasure content (with a pinch of crazy fashionistas flying in their private helicopters to the next shooting location in the Himalaya), but at the end of the day, we all value down-to-Earth blogs.

03.

Post about the things you care

You can tell when someone is writing about something just for the shake of it and for most of us, it’s a deal-breaker. Putting your readers off is the last thing you want to do because, before you realize, they will be hitting the back button and never looking back. To avoid that, you really need to figure out what is your passion. Are you a baker at heart but you keep posting about fashion trends? Time to stop it. Now. Just stop typing. I mean it.

what-i-learned-after-one-year-of-blogging

04.

Always be you (all the other roles are taken)

Please, learn this by heart and then write it on a post-it and stick it to your forehead, so you remember every time you look in the mirror: Let your personality shine.

As I mentioned before, most readers can tell when you’re randomly posting about something you don’t care but they also can tell when you are faking it. Look, I get you—with a blogosphere full of clones who will dress, pose and write the same exact way the temptation of blending in is strong. But believe me, in the long-term, it will do more harm than good to your blog. People like to feel the person behind the screen. YOU are the main reason they will come back to your site once and again. So remember this young Padawan: Fight the dark side of the Force!

05.

Don’t forget to have fun

You might be ambitious. You might work very hard to transform your side-hustle into your own little business, becoming the ultimate #girlboss. You have all my sympathy and respect for that. But let me tell you something: If you leave fun out of the equation too soon, you will burn out in no time.

I assume the reason you are investing all your —probably scarce—leisure time in your site is because you love it. That’s the main fuel for most bloggers. So you need to be sure you keep the flame alive. Have fun while writing and if you need it, take a step back to evaluate your true motivations.

Are you blogging for the six figures income and over-night success? Then, and I am very sorry to be the one bursting your bubble. Blogging, you see, doesn’t work like that. Just like in any other business you need to be passionate and also very patient. But if you love it, if you are enjoying the whole process, it is totally worth it.

On the other hand, if you really love what you are doing, you will get the necessary motivation to make the most of it. And this is what it is all about, isn’t it?

November 11, 2019November 7, 2019

Allegra Caro30 Comments

In praise of Insta-husbands: The truth about those men taking our pictures

The curtain rises: a girl in her best bib and tucker (perfect ombré hair, polished nails, a thousand euro designer bag) positions herself under a floral arch at the closest coffee shop door; her husbands enters the scene, camera in hand, and starts patiently shooting professional photos of her. He never complains. He works for free every weekend, though.

In 2019, this could be described as contemporary drama and is carefully performed in every developed country on a daily basis. The presentation has become so common, nobody raises an eyebrow anymore. After all, you know what they say – it didn’t really happen unless it is on Instagram…

This sort of post-modern philosophy seems to leave you with two options only: Being invisible, irrelevant, or endlessly working for that perfect shot that will make it to the Internet. However, for people making a living from blogging and social media, there is one choice only.

husbands behind the camera

My instagram husband

Some would say that a logical approach to the business plan must include photography budget (and they are probably right), but with a competitive market making more and more difficult to start a small company, most bloggers find themselves saving a significant amount of money by kindly asking their partners to give them a hand.

This, my friends, is the first act of an elaborated melodrama work that more often than not, develops into Greek tragedy.

On the weekend, I joined a friend for some last-minute Margaritas evening. While waiting for the cocktails to come, she commented on how excited she was about her upcoming trip to Santorini. ‘My husband is not that happy thought‘, she said inadvertently, ‘he resents the time we spend taking photos for Insta during holiday‘.

That sentence turned a red light in my head as I could not help but wonder: is Instagram affecting our romantic relationships too?

Intrigued, I made my research as soon as I reached home; unfortunately, the results look quite depressing in terms of numbers.

According to a study conducted by the International Currency Exchange (ICE), Brit holidaymakers spend 22 hours and 36 minutes over a nine days long trip taking snaps to post on social media. Yes, that’s an entire day. Nuts.

insta husbands in 2019

But let me share my own experience. When I first started part-time blogging last November, I knew my husband skills with the camera were essential. However, I underestimated how much time, effort and will it would take for him to help me – we are speaking about weekends and off days, some precious hours that could be used on something else, surely. Sometimes, the pressure of taking a nice photo that we can use for my blog can be slightly overwhelming too.

And this is when you need to establish limits.

For us, it is all about integrating photo sessions in our dates but limiting their length. On a typical day out we will spend one-hour maximum working and then the camera is packed away for good. If by any chance we don’t feel like taking pictures on a given occasion, we leave the equipment at home. That way we enjoy some quality time together. Once in a while, I will book a session with a professional photographer, so my husband gets some relief and I still have some pictures to use. As a blogger, these decisions might be far from perfect, but taking care of my relationship is a personal priority.

uk instagrammers husbands

blogger photographer

But what happens to those who become 24/7 Insta-husbands? How do they cope with a brand new demanding career that is so recent and frequently misunderstood?

Social perception on the matter is linked to issues such as Fragile Masculinity. For some, it may be hard to shift from a traditional system in which men were considered the main providers to a new role as career supporters. Those men might be ready to become professional assistants, photographers, and editors but society is still making fun of them (and the women who allegedly force them to be “trivial”).

Taking endless pictures of their wives/girlfriends? Is that even a job? (Spoiler alert: IT IS). It takes guts and a healthy dose of deconstruction for them to become the man behind the great woman. Even when it means to earn much more money, potentially. As for society? Well, only time will tell.

instagrammer husband

bloggers husbands

In the meantime, we can all support Insta-husbands (and Instagrammers) publicly by showing some respect for the work they do. Blogging might be a new industry, but people working hard in front and behind the camera are professionals and do deserve acknowledgment.

Do you think their job is a no-brainer? Well, I suggest you taking part in a little experiment: try to take a good picture (and I mean a professional one), then edit it, and oh, don’t forget to curate an entire feed that works smoothly together in the process. Easy-peasy, right?

After all, an Instagram husband would manage…

 

Men behind the camera

 

 

July 23, 2019July 23, 2019

Allegra Caro8 Comments

A Day in a blogger’s life: Expectations vs. Reality

 

Oh, the Internet! That little funny place where you can be whoever you want and share it with anyone, anywhere. Isn’t that magical? It’s 2019 now and we have got used to living online, almost 24/7. Pre-Instagram existence seems only a dream and sometimes, we can’t figure out how life was twenty, even ten years ago. This is how much our lives have changed.

Despite it all, there is a good dose of misunderstanding when it comes to the internet persona. Online identity is frequently misinterpreted. Hence, criticism turns out to be an unavoidable consequence.

When speaking about bloggers, the resulting reactions are quite obvious – the internet is packed with sceptical comments judging any kind of content creator, and even with hate forums (yes, I am looking at you, GOMIBLOG). But what are the origins of such a prejudice palette? Well, on the one hand, it could be argued that it is a brand new industry which has been out there for a relatively short period of time. Many people are naturally suspicious of non-traditional business, which makes blogging an obvious target. On the other hand, the editing work most creators put into their projects to make their content appealing can be seen as counterproductive. Some people misjudge it and think it is an accurate description of reality, sometimes based on the massive success of a little number of exceptional influencers.

Even before I started blogging, I was quite conscious about the intimidating number of comments you can hear and read out there. Bloggers, YouTubers, Instagrammers… they are all frequently accused of living according to privileged standards. Sometimes, on a total paradox, they are also called fake.

Well, this is the thing – many people will never understand online publications are no different from printed magazines or TV shows. We are talking about a marketing job. And marketing requires continuous edition.

With that said, it should be a no-brainer to understand that the common blogger living standards are just the same as everyone else. And even so, I stumble upon unrealistic misconceptions every week. Since I am a bit of a clown, I thought it could be fun to post a day in a bloggers routine, only focused on people beliefs compared to real life. So here you go…

A Day in a blogger’s life: Expectations vs. Reality
(Disclaimer: I am not responsible for bursting your bubble, sorry…)

 

Life of a real blogger

Day in the life of a real blogger

Blogging routine with my canon camera

Expectations: Monday, 9:00 AM (Paris, France)

The morning sunlight wakes me up in the room at the Shangri-La my kind sponsors have paid for. The first thing I see is the magnificent tour Eiffel silhouette greeting me on my first day in Paris.

Reality: Monday, 7.00 AM (My apartment)

My phone alarm rings a bit too early. It is still dark and I am sleepy. The first thing I see is a ghost. WHAT?! Why is there a sinister human shape in our bedroom corner?! I turn the lights on in panic, my heart about to explode. Oh… it was just the clean laundry pile on a chair, waiting for us to fold it. Holy crap. I need my coffee.

Expectations: 9:30 AM (A room terrace in the Shangri-La)

I just had the greatest hydro therapy morning shower. By the time I sit down in the sunny private terrace, the room service has already served a feast made of delicious butter croissants, pain au chocolat, strawberries, and coffee. They also brought me some fresh peonies. I take some quick Instagram snaps that require no filter. #awesome

Reality: 07.30 AM (Still, my apartment)

I leave the morning shower just to discover we forgot to buy real coffee. Again. Decaf will have to do. Such a lovely Monday start.

Expectations: 10:00 AM (Again in the hotel room)

While the very nice hairdresser finishes her work, I send a couple of agreement emails confirming my participation in a bloggers event tomorrow evening. My personal assistant will take care of all the details. Now, is this Oscar de la Renta skirt too dressy for a casual walk?

Reality: 07.45 AM

Where did I place the hair straightener? And my dress? Decaf is lukewarm now but at least I managed to click the “schedule post” button, so it goes live at ten o’clock. Should I re-check the spelling once again? OK, don‘t panic. I will be on time to the commute.

 

Real blogger day to day

Expectations: 10.30 AM (Pont Alexandre III)

My car picks me up and drops me to Pont Alexandre III for the professional photo shoot. The photographer I always hire in Paris is very patient and knows my angles. It will be a relaxing fun morning.

Reality: 08:30 AM (Commute)

I am late, I am late, I am LATE. Did I really hit the schedule button this morning? I will quickly check on the phone. Why is there no reception now? Please, tell me I scheduled the post correctly… I would kill for real coffee, really.

Expectations: 12:30 PM (Café De Flore)

My fellow blogger babes gang welcomes me when I first arrive in Café De Flore. We are catching up a bit before moving to our favourite boutiques for a shopping spree. Our group picture hits 20,000 views on Instagram stories in about two minutes time. Isn’t this the best day EVER?

Reality: 09:00 AM (The office)

Well, it was scheduled correctly, after all. I will have to check the comments in the break and pray there are no typo mistakes in between. At least, I could drink a proper cup of coffee… Not the worst Monday ever.

Expectations: 13.30 PM (Avenue Montagne)

We are SO lucky there were special sales on Céline! I will make an unboxing as soon as I get back to the hotel. My Insta-stories will be on fire!

Reality: 14.30 PM (The office, lunch break)

Oh goodness! Do I need to update all the new post reminders manually on my lunch break? Didn’t the app do its thing? But WHY? Hello darkness, my old friend…

 

A day in the bloggers life

 

Expectations: 16:00 PM (31 Rue Cambon, Coco Chanel apartment)

The girls and I are having such a great time today! We enjoy our sponsored private tour while drinking some champagne. Once it is finished, we will take some more pictures for Instagram. Super productive Monday!

Reality: 18.30 PM (Back home)

Back home, finally! I make myself a cup of tea and and get ready to start the whole admin tasks on my pending list: comments, edition, pre-scheduling social media content for tomorrow etc. Sometimes, I feel as if 24 hours in a day aren’t enough to do all the things I want to do.

Expectations: 18:30 PM (Back to the Shangri-La hotel)

The room service brings me a tea cup so I can start writing a draft for my Paris city guide. No stress, though – my assistant already took care of all the heavy admin stuff, so I can simply focus on the creative part.

Reality (20:00 PM)

Done for today! Are those hunger pangs? I totally forgot to eat dinner (or drink any liquids, for the matter), thanks God Sebastian comes to my rescue with a quick spaghetti dish. Maybe I can quickly draft something for next week too?

Expectations: 20:30 PM (Kong restaurant)

The girls and I are having the most delicious dinner ever. Such a perfect end for a perfect day. We will leave the place early tonight, so we can all rest and meet again in the morning for the first day of Paris Fashion Week. #BLESSED

Reality (21:30 PM)

I suddenly wake up from a nap in the couch. When did I even fall asleep? Maybe, I should leave the laptop now and have an early night. Why is there a sinister human shape in our bedroom corner?! That laundry pile AGAIN. I really need to fold those clothes now. Oh, well… Let’s call it just an ordinary Monday. #DEAD

 

 

March 11, 2019June 4, 2019

Allegra Caro28 Comments

Hi, I am Allegra!

A thirty-something Spanish expat with a love for Haute couture, books and period dramas. Way too many little black dresses in my closet. You can read more about me here.

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