A couple of weeks ago, I was having one of my recurring online cappuccino dates with a friend. While casually discussing trends, she told me she hates monochrome outfits with a passion. She confessed it was one of her personal fashion pet peeves, something which annoyed her so much, she would immediately scroll down on Pinterest when encountered.
I was quite curious about the fact she felt such displeasure and when she kindly asked me what were my own style pet peeves, I gave her an involuntary puzzled frown. The fact is, I never thought about it and couldn’t even tell if I had a thing about any trend at all. To be honest, my mind went completely blank, and we ended up shifting towards a different topic. However, I would not let go and spent the next couple of weeks raking over it. My brain did not cooperate and at the end of the day, I had to admit maybe I had no pet peeve of my own.
A bunch of days later, Sebastian and I were out for dinner and run into a colleague who was wearing a beautiful floral dress. Although the gown was truly beautiful, I found myself muttering afterwards. “Florals for Spring? Groundbreaking!” And there it was – I was like everyone else, after all.
A cascade of ideas flooded my mind in that very moment, the entire collection of my own personal style obsessions. And then, I concluded it would be nice to share them with you out of scientific curiosity if you please. Just to compare and check if it’s only me who cannot stand the points in the following list. So here you go…
My fashion pet peeves
(Disclaimer: these are my own personal opinions and they are meant to be read in a humorous tone. Please, do not take me too seriously.)
Trainers to tone down an all over classy outfit
I know I am probably alone with this one but really, NOPE. To me, sport shoes will never look casual, but sporty. That’s the whole point about them, isn’t it? So, when I see one of those very nice grammable photos in which the girl is wearing a perfectly polished outfit just to “tone it down” with trainers, I want to cry. Are you playing a tennis match or going to an opera evening? My robotic mind displays the Logic Not Found error message every time. Sorry. It is not about you, people. It is about me. Give me flats anytime, but sport shoes are my kryptonite.
2. Mixing patterns
Let’s. Stop. This madness. I still remember when I opened a magazine to see a street fashion shot of a woman who was wearing camouflage print and tartan on the same outfit. My eyes burn to this day. Just like Phoebe’s in that Friends episode in which she discovers Monica and Chandler affair. Please, if I can make a wish, let’s leave patterns separate and use solid colours instead. Thank you.
3. The tiny handbags trend
Excuse me, did I die and went to Hell? Because that’s the only way I can make sense of something this illogical. Carrying your stuff around is the purpose of a bag, so what is the point of a miniature purse which cannot even keep your car keys? Seriously. What is the point?! It makes NO SENSE (hyperventilates on a paper bag).
4. Clothes on the wrong size
Know your size people, pleasie, please. When in doubt, just ask the shop assistant or check the sizes chart. There is nothing worse than poorly tailored clothes. Too baggy? Awful. Too tight? Even worse. You don’t want to look like a tacky version of a Marvel superhero, right? Something like Captain Clerk, the unfortunate hero whose powers come from the second cup of morning Ristretto… I thought so. Well, I have written about this before, but you can totally drop your new suit to the closest dressmaker if needed. I promise it is worth every penny.
5. Nude dress, nude shoes, nude tights… nude you
To me, too matchy-matchy is an A category fashion disaster which develops into a hilarious mess when it comes to nude tones. Without a pop of colour, a head-to-toe nude outfit makes you look… yes, you guessed it: NAKED. Please, don’t show yourselves naked on the streets. It is bad for you, it is bad for me, it is bad for all those fluffy koala cubs out there. And you don’t want to hurt the baby koalas, do you?
And this is it, folks – my own personal nightmares fashionwise. Since I am a bit nosy, I would love to learn about yours too, so just let me know!
Dress: Poema (sold out, similar at Alexia Admor)
Pink Biker Jacket: Reserved
Earrings: Vintage (similar at Miu Miu)